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Cathy's take on books, writing, and life.

Last Night a Novel Saved My Life…

First, a quick update: I’ve been working hard on a trilogy of books for Harlequin Blaze, a series I seem to have been working on forever.  Life has been intervening in a huge way, and I’m finally learning how to roll with it instead of letting it roll me.  Only took me thirty-something years, but there we go. I’m really excited about moving forward with the writing projects, especially when I’ve got a YA trilogy, an urban fantasy series, and a tween chapter book series all clamoring to get out of my head.

After a series of stressful incidents in the past two years, I found myself questioning everything.  I mean, everything.  Especially when, having an ugly argument with someone close to me, a nasty slash came out:

What the f*** do you know?  YOU WRITE PORN FOR A LIVING!”

Yeah.

Said friend almost immediately apologized, looked just as surprised that the statement popped out as I was hearing it.  Nonetheless, it hit me right in the tenders, as it were.  One of those barbs that sank in and promptly got infected.

Suddenly, all my insecurities jumped in.  They ganged up and started questioning:

1) why I was writing sexy, which I’d never really intended, never felt comfortable with, and don’t seem to be successful at,

2) why I was thinking of writing funny, which I’m really comfortable with, but which no one can sell at gunpoint right now, and

3) why I’m writing at all, when there are bills piling up, this “pursuing your bliss” is a ton of crap, especially when

4) it’s not like I’m curing cancer, or helping the planet, or doing anything at all resembling “being of service” which would at least make this whole pointless exercise somehow noble.

(My insecurities, I’ve noticed, are bullies.  But well organized bullies.  Like the mob.)

Like I said, I’ve been going through a lot.  People outside my situation have been looking at me with shock and horror and giving me the “man, you must need a drink” look. It hasn’t been fun.

The thing is, I don’t drink.  I don’t do anything chemical.  I’ve even cut back on my chocolate intake after discovering too much sugar gives me migraines. (A sad, sad day indeed!)

Instead, I read.

During all this, I’ve been mainlining J.D. Robb.  I now own every single book in the “In Death” series, and for a while there, I was reading one book a day, starting over when I got to the last book.  Before that, it was Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files series.  I’ve read the P.C. Cast House of Night series, the Twilight series, J.R. Ward, Sherrilyn Kenyon… the list goes on and on.

I did whatever needed doing. I took care of basics: my son, myself. And I read my ass off.

I’m convinced it saved my sanity.  In a roundabout way, it really did save my life.Which brings me to the epiphany.

Novels are shoulders to cry on, friends who “get” us, things to help us get through it.  When I feel like crap, my human friends know — and recommend what to read.

My friends, human and literary, got me through it.

I’m proud of being a fiction writer.  What we do is important.  We do help people.  Hell… we do save lives.

Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

Lane Changes and Destuckifying

I’m stuck.

It’s not that I’m blocked.  I could pound out draft in a blink. It would make no sense and go nowhere, but by God, I could make page count!  That might work for NaNo… but for a contracted novel, not so much.  Worse, considering this is a complete re-write of a completed crap draft.

I’ve been stuck like this before.  Hell, I’ve been stuck on almost every project I’ve worked on.  About two-thirds of the way into any project, I become convinced it’s utter and complete bunk, that I should throw in the towel, toss out MS Word and become either a Buddhist nun or a WalMart greeter.  I tend to like what I’ve written later. Like, six months after it’s published.

That’s not helpful in the short run.

It occurs to me that, after being in the business for ten years and having this same situation occur, that I’m a slow learner.  They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, over and over, and expecting different results.  So I’m finally analyzing what I’m doing, and, like George Costanza, I’m making different choices.

1.  No more isolating.  If I can’t trust my perception, then I need to start relying on my critique partners for fresh eyes and a good, healthy thwap of common sense.

2. Feelings aren’t facts.  I feel crappy about my work?  Okay. But I need to write anyway.  Not an entire novel in a day.  Just seven pages… one scene.  No matter how I’m feeling.

3.  Focus on what I can control.  If I start thinking about how the book will do, or how my career is doing, or what sort of sales or what’s my next contract or or or… I freeze up.  I can’t control that. I can barely control my characters.  All I can control is typing one word after another; putting one page of brainstorm after the next. Little things.  Keep it simple.

For someone who has made a career of making life difficult, keeping life simple might just be my hardest challenge. ;)

Oh, and for those of you who are interested in “destuckifying” – I got the term from this absolutely fantastic site, fluentself.com. It is totally worth reading, and I adore her voice. I’m also looking forward to her ideas on marketing, which she calls “biggification.”

I get the feeling I’ve got a lot more changes in store, in my writing and my life, coming up pretty soon.  I’m looking forward to finding out what they are.  (And, of course, sharing them with you!)

Writer’s Gratitude List

I didn’t post the last week or so because I’ve been in a funk, wrestling with a book that just hasn’t been cooperating. I’ve been making the horrible, dreadful discovery that I need to become more of a “pantser” (a notion that has the control-freak plotter in me hiding deep in the trenches and preparing for siege.)  Some other stuff wasn’t going well, and I started to realize that it’s like the old adage:  “When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”  Well, when my writing’s not happy…

So a good friend pointed out that, when she’s stuck, she writes out a gratitude list. Initially, I wanted to just smack the crap out of her, but as I started to slowly pull myself out of the muck, I realized she was right.  So here it is:  the gratitude list.  Here are the reasons I can think of for being grateful for choosing writing as a profession and a way of life.

  1. Writing is the coolest job in the world.  I talk to myself, I live in my own head in a creative world, I lie compulsively and thoroughly.  I am actually paid to do something that ordinarily would get me fired or locked in the looney bin.
  2. I recently read the whole J.D. Robb “In Death” mystery series… for my job.  For “research!”  And I actually learned, besides the fact that Nora Roberts is a writing goddess, how a mystery/suspense series can be constructed.
  3. I can set my own hours.
  4. I have fantastic writing friends.
  5. I have amazing and supportive editors.
  6. I have wonderful agents who believe in me.
  7. I have a writing organization that helps me — people who believe in sharing information, paying it forward, and helping out.
  8. I no longer have crazy co-workers.  The only crazy worker here is me, thanks, and that works out okay.
  9. There are approximately ten million people who would kill for my job.
  10. I can stay home with my son.
  11. People have actually read and enjoyed my work.  And I can keep getting better so they can continue to do so.
  12. I don’t ever have to sit in another boring staff meeting.
  13. I don’t ever have to do a team building exercise.
  14. My office has a door that I can shut.  (Granted, my son does not always respect this, but it’s not cube walls!)
  15. No pop fire drills.
  16. No performance evaluations.
  17. No more “re-organizations”; no more “mission re-envisionings” or similar.
  18. No more bitter, bitter gumball office gossips.
  19. I don’t have to dress up.  (This is kind of moot, since when I worked in an office, I didn’t dress up.  When I wore lipstick, they assumed I was interviewing.  True story.)
  20. I can work at my own pace, when I feel creative; if that’s two in the morning, so be it.  And I can pick which projects I focus on.

I’m sure there are more things, but that’s enough for now.  What about you?  Why are you grateful you’re a writer?

Fun Romance Genre Links

Quick post today.  I’ve been on a reading binge, and next week I’ll be posted my awe for the goddess of romance (and mystery, I’ve discovered) genre fiction, Nora Roberts.  But today, I just wanted to post two links I’ve read relatively recently.

The first is a link to “I Write THOSE Books — Keeping it Positive.”  It’s easy to get bogged down with all the “haters” who think that romance fiction is not only formulaic, but literally written by a template that supposedly gets mailed out by romance editors, like some kind of Mad Lib novel.  It’s easy to get discouraged when books we slave over don’t make enough to get us out of day jobs, or are disregarded as pulp, froth, and lazy fiction.  I love that Holly Jacobs, one of my very favorite authors and a dear friend, is quoted with her wonderful, inspiring take on life in general.

http://www.popsyndicate.com/books/story/i_write_those_books–keeping_it_positive/

The next is a link that’s just fun.  While not perhaps in the “positive” mindset, it’s also a hysterical send-up of Regency romance cliches.  Sometimes, simply laughing is enough to help me put all the rest of the negativity at bay.  Enjoy!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5263464/1/A_Regency_Romance_in_2_minutes

Just Say Yes

yes_manI was setting up to write today, at the library, when I saw a book in the biography section that touted it was “the book the movie YES MAN was based on.”  I figured I’d flip through it, and wound up getting hooked.

YES MAN is an autobiographical account by British humorist Daniel Wallace.  It’s strangely uplifting, a really fun read.  Here are just a few quotes that I wound up loving:

“I wanted to turn the clock back and shout yes to all the things I’d mumbled no to.”

“I discovered that someone else had had the exact same idea but had actually gone to the trouble of patenting and marketing it.  Damn the organized and resourceful!”

“He was someone who had it all, but had decided that he didn’t need most of it.”

“I had discovered that it’s not necessarily positive thinking that changes your life, but positive doing.”

Since I’m generally an adventure-adverse introvert who sees reading a novel as an almost giddy, gleeful pleasure and the highlight of my day (in my defense, I’m a writer and the work-at-home mom of a small child), the idea of saying “Yes!” to pretty much anything seems daunting.  But maybe worthwhile.

What do you wish you’d said yes to?

Why Can’t Authors Micro-Discount?

Let me preface this post with a disclaimer:  I’m sick as a dog, with the flu.  When I am sick, I am often struck with ideas that seem frickin’ brilliant… and which, equally often, seem insane once I’m healthy.  So if this seems insane, please feel free to point out why.

So this week’s flu-inspired brainchild:  micro-discounting.

Right now, as far as I know, only publishers are able to negotiate with bookstores to offer a discount on books. Sometimes bookstores will take it upon themselves to offer discounts (see the ever popular buy-one-get-one, etc.) but if you’re an author and you want to try to boost sales with a little cash incentive, you’re ass out unless you’re self published. Only publishers can negotiate discounts.

I’m an author.  I’ve got a website.  I offer a lot of my books through various online venues: Amazon, IndieBound, B&N, Borders, yadda.  And I’m not stupid.  I figure, hey, if you’re going to buy a book through my website, and those bookstores offer an affiliate cut, I’m going to sign up.  You buy through Amazon coming from my site, I make 4% of sales price.  Borders, more like 6%.  Pocket change, but considering most authors make between 4 -10% royalty on cover price, we’re used to little things adding up.

But I also shell out a lot for promotion: the website’s cheaper than it was, but it still cost a bundle to set up initially.  If I thought about all the stupid promo tricks I’ve shelled out money for in my career, then the little chump change the affiliate link provides isn’t going to offset at all.  The point of most author websites is to try and seal the deal, but really, it’s not geared to hard-sell through the site.  It’s geared to get you to remember to pick up one of our books when you’re buying books… if that’s at a physical bookstore, or the next time you’re on Amazon, or whatever. If we did push the hard sell, I think a lot of fans would be irritated.  (I sure as hell would be.)

Amazon especially smooth talks its affiliates by saying they’ve got a chance to sell everything, since Amazon sells just about all products under the sun.  As an author, I’m not trying to sell my readers a frickin’ toaster.  I want them to buy one book.  My book.  And honestly, the link’s more a convenience for my readers anyway than a scheme to make a quick twenty cents.

So… what if I say, screw the affiliate payout?

What if Amazon or Borders lets me forfeit the payout, pass on the savings to my reader?  They’re giving up the money either way. And hey, my reader would get a 4-6% discount.  Not exactly something to jump through hoops about, but it’s a start, and it might make a difference.  Give me something to shout about.

And further on that line of thought… what if authors paid out of their own pockets to offer a discount?  Say you wanted to offer a discount on the first 500 copies of your book.  A 20% discount.  And say you wanted to offer it only the first week of sale.  This gives you a real promo point:  “Buy the first week, and get 20% off at (wherever)!”  The beauty of that being that you’d be driving sales for that crucial first week of sales, a number that drives re-orders and bestseller lists. The bookstore could charge you up front up to 500 books, betting that you wouldn’t hit the number… they’d be clearing a profit if you only sold, say, 4 copies.  Or if they were more humane, it could be like Pay Per Click: you’d only have to pay for the people who actually took advantage of the discount, capping at 500 copies.  Either way, bookstore’s not out cash.

And unlike offering multiple links, it’s unlikely that an author would want to make this deal with a number of different bookstores, simply because she wouldn’t be able to afford discounting 500 books at multiple outlets.  So one bookstore — the first bookstore to offer microdiscounting — would get not only the sales, but they’d get some screaming, driven salespeople.

Does this make sense?  Would you pay to drive sales for your book with a micro-discount?

Or is this just the Nyquil talking?

Writers: Flaky Artist, or Savvy Entrepreneur?

With tax season closing in on me like a freight train, I’ve been thinking a lot about the business side of the writing profession.  I’ve attended a lot of published author seminars at various RWA conferences; I’ve read a lot of small business and entrepreneur books and magazines, with an eye toward improving my “brand” and my business.  I’ll admit: I’ve spun my wheels a lot.  Do authors really need logos, for example?  Do tag lines work?  Should you coordinate your conference wardrobe with your website?  Do these things really matter?  Or should we just focus on making sure our books themselves are the best stories possible?

I’m leaning toward product over promotion, at this point.  That said, I’m now depending more than ever on my writing income, and it occurs to me that maybe there is definitely room to improve on the business side.  What we do is an art, without question.  We can’t “mechanize” it. But is it really impossible to streamline it?  Can we increase our writing speed to increase our productivity?  Anyone who’s participated in NaNo probably learned, as I did, that we’ve got more writing time than we thought — and we can produce more than we thought, as well. Do you track how many pages a day you write?  Do you track how long it takes you to write a book?  Do you have a business plan? And if you do, do you focus on achievable, measurable results that are within your control? (For example: submitting x proposals a year, in your control… making the USA Today Bestseller list, not so much.)

That goes for my promotional efforts, too.  I haven’t had a release since October, but that books’ far from dead.  I haven’t been consistent in promoting that or my other still-in-print titles.  If you’re published, do you have a promotional plan that you follow?  Or do you do have a manic burst of activity when you have a book release date, a shotgun blast of coverage… then nothing for a few months?  Do you think it matters?

The problem with thinking of ourselves as small businesses is the funkiness of the model we follow.  Technically, we’re a business-to-business provider:  we need to “sell” our products to a publisher, who will then package it, distribute it, and put a price point on it.  We generally aren’t given much, if any, input in this process.  We are expected to promote it (business-to-consumer, a direct sale model): however, we’re not given any performance metrics.  We’re told that future contracts will depend on sell-through, the percentage of units sold to how many were printed or shipped out.  Yet we’re often not told what our print run is, or what the ship out was.  Our future contracts — and advances — depend on vague details that editors give us, which they often told by management not to disclose!

(Would it kill the Writer’s Guild to insist that publishers adopt some more concrete metrics in their royalty statements… insist on print run, for example, as well as sales?  Make royalty statements more clear?  Or have they fought this battle already, and I’m just not aware of it? )

We can’t become self-sustaining full time writers if we hold onto the image of “flaky artists”… people who have to wait for the muse, who can’t meet deadlines or who shy away from promotion or contracts.  I’m not saying that tracking pages or having a regular blogging schedule will vault me onto the NYT bestseller lists.  But I can become a better businesswoman and a better writer, and I intend to.

Do Fans Have Rights?

There’s been some controversy lately about what rights fans might, or perhaps should not, expect.  Here are two of my favorite postings on the subject:

It’s been a tricky thing.  I have been all over the board, from a writing standpoint: I’ve written light romantic comedy and page-burning romantica and sexless, almost romance-free chick lit. Fortunately, my dedicated and hard core underground of fans (wave your hands, you two!) have followed my genre traipsing and forgiven my lack of direction.  I know a lot of authors, especially comedy or sexy writers, who despair at being pigeon holed.  They want to write more than what they’ve developed a readership for.  I can respect that, and understand it.

On the other hand, there is a famous author whose works I absolutely adored — until she changed genres. She used to be a hardcover auto-buy for me, something I budgeted for.  Now, I haven’t even borrowed her latest from the library.

Is this because she “betrayed” me?  No.  Do I flame her on fan boards or write hate mail?  No.

But I don’t buy her books, because… well, I don’t like the genre she writes in now.  Perhaps I should be more open minded: she may be the most talented forensic suspense writer the world has ever seen.  But I don’t like forensic suspense.

I think that authors have every right to write whatever the hell they want, and take as long as they need to, especially if it means creating the quality of work that their readership has come to expect. If you can’t be happy with your writing, you might as well get a steady job in something like accounting or computer repair.

That said: when you lose your audience because you’ve written something readers are not interested in, suck it up.  You’ve got no right to expect people to buy your books just because it’s you.

How Farmville Helped My Writing

020909121934gameBig_farmvilleA few months ago, I got caught up in the insanity that is the Facebook application Farmville.  For those of you who have managed to miss it (and since there’s something like 9 million users, I imagine there are precious few of you) Farmville is a game that allows you to own a small farm.  You have a bank account, small at first, with which you can purchase seeds. You then plant the seeds, let ‘em grow, then harvest them for a return.  Pretty straightforward.  You’re also allowed to give — and receive — gifts from your “neighbors” a.k.a. people in your friend list who you’ve asked to be your neighbor in this game.

I am a competitive person.  I would’ve probably abandoned the whole thing if my brother, at the time expecting his first child with his wife, hadn’t joined as a way to kill some nervous energy.  From then on, in our usual fashion, it was social network gaming war.  (He actually texted me with rantings from “Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan” when I got ahead of him.  Yes, we are nerds, and this is how we roll.)  I managed to rack up some impressive numbers, and I apologize to everybody who had to witness the frequent postings of what the heck I was up to in the game.  I’m sure the last thing you wanted to hear was continual postings that I’d yet again managed to level up to “Fantastic Farmgirl” or whatever.

That said, I did manage to pick up a few really helpful tips from the game, that apply to my writing:

  • Be patient.  You’re not going to have a lot of money, so you’ll want to buy “crops” that return the most money, and those usually take a few days to harvest… which, to any online gamer, can feel like a year.  When applied to my writing, I realized that while a quickie editing assignment might give me a short term feeling of accomplishment, it’s plugging away at my novel — and building my fiction career — that’s going to give me the most satisfaction and greatest “return” down the line.
  • Do something every day. One of Farmville’s more insidious qualities is that, if you ignore the crops you’ve planted, instead of waiting around for you to get it in gear and harvest them, the darned things rot and you’re out the money.  So you’ve got to pay attention and check in on your farm pretty much every day.  Same thing with writing projects, I think.  Granted, a writing project will just sit there without “rotting.”  Still, if I don’t write every day, I let the specter of my project build until I’m intimidated.  I back myself into a writer’s block.  Only took me ten years and endless protests of “I’m a cyclic writer… I write in big fits and spurts… I need time to process” to realize it was all a smoke screen.  I feel like an idiot, but I’m finally on a daily writing schedule, and it has made a huge difference.
  • Help your neighbors. One of the ways I soundly whipped my brother’s score… ahem, I mean, succeeded in improving my farm <g>, was through helping other farms.  If nothing was going on and I was waiting for crops to grow, I would wander over to a friend’s farm and fertilize or clear weeds or something.  I got points every time I helped someone else, as well as experience. It’s a wonderful lesson to learn, especially since as a writer, I tend to isolate and insulate.  If I’m stuck on a project, or I’ve done my daily page writing, then I like to help other writers.  That means blogging here, or critiquing, either for hire or through my crit group.  If I hadn’t received a wealth of helpful information from people in my writing chapter, I would not be a published writer.  Besides, every time I go through someone else’s manuscript, I learn more about my own craft.  It’s a win-win.
  • Use a strategy, and know what the end result should be. As far as Farmville, I had only one goal: to beat my brother.  I knew that I had to pick crops that would have the best return on investment; I needed to rack up experience so I could qualify for the higher-paying crops, which meant both planting crops that gave experience, and helping neighbors.  I only had a little bit of time a day when I wasn’t working or watching my son, so I had to pick things I could do easily, and I chose Farmville as my “down time” at night.  All that added up: I picked a few useful steps that became habits, created a simple but effective system.  Now, with my writing, my end result is continuing to support myself as a full time writer.  The only way I can do that is by picking projects that will have the best return, as well as ones that I can do well and potentially break out with as a result.  I need to balance the timing of all the projects I have going — writing, ghostwriting, editing.  I need to balance my work with my family.  And in the end, I need to choose fun things that will nourish me in my “downtime.”  All of this I’ve incorporated into a habitual, simple, and effective “system.”

I realized that, given what I wanted my end result to be, I had to quit the game.  The lessons I picked up, obvious as they are, have actually stuck.  I’m now busier this year than I’ve been since the birth of my son, I’m balancing it all better, and I’m confident that I’ve got a strategy to handle whatever comes moving forward.

Now, who says playing games is completely useless? ;)

Write-At-Home-Mom

Right now, my writing life is thriving: I’m closing out a long-awaited Blaze contract; doing some ghostwriting and freelance editing; I’ve got an Urban Fantasy concept that I am totally in love with and can’t wait to get started on.

I also have a three year old with the cold from hell, who has thoughtfully shared it with me.

When I started writing and selling ten years ago, I had a full-time day job, and wrote novels at night. I’m discovering that “the boy,” as I call him online, is so much more than a day job on so many levels.  I love the kid: seriously, I adore the little guy.  I love how he makes me laugh.  I love how he tells me that “teeter-totter” is “Spanish for ’see-saw’.”  I love when he dances in the living room and sings Route 66 or Perry the Platypus.

But I also can’t just get him down to bed at 7:30 and expect to crank out a scene or two, like I used to.  At this point, if I don’t get draft done by 5 p.m. I am toast — the creative brain seems to check out then, after a full day of “playing” and riding herd, trying to get him to do what needs to be done without completely crushing his spirit. Thankfully, he’s finally entered preschool, which is where he keeps getting new and creative variations on the cold-from-hell.  Were it not for preschool, I imagine I would not be able to get any of my projects completed.  Since a good chunk of our living expenses draws from this, obviously this concerns me.

If you’re a work-at-home Mom, I would love some advice.  How the heck do you juggle, especially the ones under five? Are you managing to make a living as well as raise a kid?  How do you keep your writing brain from draining like a dead battery?  And how do you manage to keep yourself somewhat sane?